I Took Myself On A Date In Florida

CXVI | August 17, 2018

On a borderline schizophrenic impulse, I sat by the pool, sheltered by a clear night sky. My date was usually bubbly but on this night under the Florida moon, our conversation felt lifeless. 

Forever is a mighty long time, especially to spend with someone else. But, too often we neglect to understand that the only person that we literally spend forever with is ourselves. Even worse, too often we treat ourselves the worst (yes, the one person we have to see every single day and have no choice but to deal with – we treat that person the worst. Insane, I know).

We’ve all heard tales of the casual dater, sleeping around, avoiding commitment like the plague in the BC era (some of us have been that person and I’m sorry). Disconnected and distant, the casual dater leases the “other side of the bed” with ease and in most cases, completely disregards their leasee’s feelings. As a matter of fact, feelings are trifling to the casual dater. I mean, I can’t say it’s bad but I’ll just say it limits ‘love’ and if that’s your thing for that time then who am I to say it’s wrong? Hell, in the healing stage of a broken forever, major commitment and responsibility ain’t necessarily my first drink either. Only during healing hours.

Anyway, what I can say is wrong is casually dating ourselves. Disconnected and distant from the person staring back at us in the mirror. Treating ourselves with very little respect and attention, turning a cold shoulder to the one person who will be with us until the very last heartbeat. I think that’s why there’s so many ‘zombie-like’ people walking our blocks because so many people have neglected to develop  a relationship with themselves. So many people marry (then divorce) others before they even ask themselves the famous, “what’s your favorite color” question. It’s not much time spent with finding out what makes us laugh, our interests and dislikes, or even our passions – we just neglect to connect with ourselves.

We come into town for a good time with ourselves and leave the money on the nightstand. Don’t even stick around for breakfast in the morning.

The dangers of casually dating ourselves are that our identities are the key to pretty much everything. To be transparent, I spent a very long time walking this earth very distant from myself. I’ve realized that recently and all of the goals that I developed within this distance from myself, failed. Life opened up for me in a major way when I stopped to really get to know me.

Self-awareness is the base of our being because it’s the gateway to other things. For example, finding out that your passionate about a particular is the first step to finding a career in that passion. Discovering that I enjoy reaching people is what led to my 10 year career in communications. Discovering that I can see, feel, and hear color is what sparked my music career. If we discover ourselves, we can do a better job of discovering good people for our ‘forevers’. We’ll know what’s good for us.

The journey and destination both have to have a beginning.

Gather yourself and re-shift your focus to discovering yourself. Taste the moments of joy and pain, identifying their conception, becoming mindful of what you give birth to.

On a borderline schizophrenic impulse, I sat by the pool, sheltered by a clear night sky. My date was usually bubbly but on this night under the Florida moon, our conversation felt lifeless. But, for the first time in our new relationship, I was able to feel my date’s concerns and make both of us comfortable. 


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