Thankfully, I haven’t had the migraines as of late (knock on wood). But, the pain of mental traffic is still there.
I sat in physical traffic today on Rte. 29 (Maryland) and found myself getting even more frustrated, trying to act as if the traffic didn’t exist. I would swerve my truck (her name is Beans and she is absolutely adorable) in and out of lanes, staring at the clock, trying to get to the radio station on time. All of that swerving just to bounce around behind the world’s finest of slow drivers. To no avail.
Such a headache. So much frustration.
In efforts to be there for others and to prevent breaking down, I’ve learned to mask a lot of pain. Things bother me and somehow I have adapted to filing it away for a later time. Like, I’d just file the clouds of my life away and save them for when the world slows down enough for me to care about myself.
Sadly, I do it knowingly.
Thankfully, I’ve recently developed friendships that have comforted me, allowing me to talk when the cup gets too full.
Here’s the nugget: Let’s not act as if there is no traffic on our mental highways.
Our minds are made to process emotion and the world around us; it’s perfectly natural to feel. I find myself trying to play “tough guy” so that I can be there for others but, we must remember that we can’t pour from an empty cup. Like, it’s literally impossible.
Now that my circle has been rebuilt (smaller but stronger), I’m starting to feel more comfortable with calling a friend while I’m stuck in “traffic”. It helps to ease the tension and impatience of mental congestion. I pray that you have someone to call while you’re stuck in your mental traffic as well.
Not admitting the frustration is dangerous. Trust me on this one; sleepless nights are insanely deflating.